The day was waking up after a long respite. Sun wasn't seen yet, but the grey glow with a hint of gold predicted the spot when it would emerge in a few hours. The world was quiet. Too quiet. Silent, delicate footsteps on the wooden boards felt almost too loud in the stillness. Distant chirps of birds could be heard, as well as the soft rustling of the grass. Noise isn't reverse to silence, no, silence is just a lack of noise. Ayu walked around the house on her tiptoes, getting ready for the busy morning... For another attempt at meditation. It might have been too soon to tackle what was on the back of her mind, but she couldn't wait. It wasn't something of a whim for her, but rather a very needed duty that started to be her routine. Something, she felt, was crucial. A challenge, or a goal she put there for herself - to better her spirit. It was only, simply a meditation, but after the pain prickling her heart and this sense of dread, uneasiness grew. It wasn't right. The young woman was lacking, that much was obvious, and for whatever reason, she couldn't sense her own energy properly. And that made Ayu anxious. Too anxious in fact, that she has spent some of her time tossing in bed from one side to another, pondering about it. Why was there an invisible wall in the middle of her mind, obstructing her from assessing her prowess? Was she that strong as was mentioned days ago, or her brain was playing tricks on her? How come... Ayu didn't feel any different than before, yet somehow she couldn't shake the foreboding. Something was casting a shadow on her, she just couldn't figure out the meaning behind this action... And as she woke up today when the grey dawn was stretching above the horizon, sweeping away the stars, she was determined to start again.

The last meditation ended with her mind wandering in the forests and plains. She let her body relax and focused entirely on even the smallest dots of Ki around her... Sensing animals big and small, types of flora and people was one thing, but shifting the whole process of perceiving the world inside her body and mind was something else. Something she wasn't able to do, at least not skillfully enough to see any results. Each living being was like a miniature universe inside... What was inside her then? She wanted to concentrate on herself to get a better understanding and insight into this phenomenon. What if she'd feel a presence similar to her own one day? She could finally ask someone with a comparable shade of Ki about herself... Her origin, why her skin was green, what was this unusual connection to flora... But that would be impossible only if Ayu would continue to be unable to read her signature. The energy in her body wasn't stable. She needed to see this time what she was made of - even if the thought of that was uncomfortable. The pressure and resistance she experienced last time, alongside the ongoing fuzziness of her Ki weren't giving her much choice. Should she push it..? Tying her hair in a braid and putting on the shoes, Ayu took a deep breath. Air tickled her throat, rushed through the windpipe, and reached her lungs - going back the same way when the young woman exhaled slowly.

"I'm going to do this today," with a full of resolve whisper Ayu slowly clenched her fists. Her Ki, her energy, her life. If she wasn't able to grasp the very essence of her being, what would that mean? It felt like it would be a failure on her part... Anyway. What was life? By the textbook definition, it was a condition of capacities that were distinguishing living beings from inorganic matter. Pondering a little, the young woman opened the backdoor, walking into her garden. Tepid morning air welcomed her, and the sky above adorned with a handful of clouds looked pleasantly blue. She closed her eyes, sensing the presence and delicate whispers of flora around... This was a familiar and loved feeling, she couldn't imagine living without it. Every being was a part of nature, but she embraced that connection while others preferred to hide in the mountains of steel and glass. It wasn't that bad, just, troubling in some cases. Ayu was convinced that the lack of respect towards the living and ease with ending others' existence came from that. If one couldn't be bothered to have regard for a simple plant or defenseless animal, how could they let the others live and thrive? They simply didn't carry that resolve in their hearts...

Life was able to grow. Ayu fondly stroked the saplings that were creating a row of bright, green little stalks ornamented with tiny leaves. The sprouts were beautiful. They were ready to expand and grow on the flower patch, and later bloom, filling the place with happily yellow daffodils. She smiled gently, feeling their presence. It was very subtle energy, simple and clear.

Life was able to produce offspring. The woman crouched down next to the tool shed, looking at the ceramic pot filled with seeds. They were about to sprout, but she didn't want to use her ability here. To be honest, Ayu was using it only for training and necessary situations to defend herself, very much preferring to let nature do its thing. Trying to help the natural cycle like that could do more harm than good. The poppy plants grew, creating the seeds and Ayu planted them in the warm soil, waiting for them to sprout and create new life.

Life was able to function. There were many different species of flora in Ayu's garden. The sundew in the corner of the pots next to her doors lured innocent bugs in, to feast on them and nurture their organism. The shrubs growing in the berry patch were showing their gratitude by giving her sweet strawberries. The tendrils of ivy climbed on the window frame, aiming for the roof and old chimney... Sunflowers next to the fence moved their heads towards where the first ray of light shone through. So similar, but so different. Despite being stuck in one place, plants were able to develop many kinds of functions and capabilities - at first, it wasn't seen by a naked eye, but with just a bit of focus and goodwill it all was becoming clear.

Life was able to die. That... That was the inevitable truth. Ayu walked to the old toolshed, sitting on the ground next to the shabby wooden wall. With a deep breath, she placed her joined hands on her lap, making sure her posture is right. Her heart was beating slowly, steadily... Death. Such a contrary concept to the sound of her own heartbeat. Death wasn't something that could be avoided, only put back in time and Ayu was aware that one day, her time would run out. Everything alive indeed will meet its end. She slowly closed her eyes. Rocks, rivers, air - the concept of life and death didn't apply to inorganic parts of nature by definition, but they were a part of it nonetheless. The sun, water, air, and soil were the sparks that lit the flame of life, allowing it to thrive. And thrive they will.

Ayu was alive. That was an obvious statement, but as her mind settled into the meditation, her pulse stabilized. Breathing became even, harmonious. She could feel her core keeping in check her muscules, her spine straight and relaxed in the pose for meditation. With every beat of her heart, blood rushed through her veins and back to the core. Air in a smooth rhythm was breathed in and exhaled. Ayu was alive. She was able to grow... From a child to a young woman, albeit her height could have been a little better. Being on the shorter side proved difficult with all the people around being at least a head taller than her. Anyway. Growing would not only mean the physical capability - she was maturing, learning, experiencing what life had to offer, hopefully gaining from that as much as possible. She would die one day. As simple as that. About the offspring - that was the topic she would rather avoid... Undoubtedly she was functionating too, albeit that statement was a little tricky. When Ayu meditated about it, her ability to move, breathe and do anything else a living being do wasn't that different from a regular human... Yet could sensing Ki be a part of it? And feeling and manipulating the flora in her presence? Was she unlike the others or just one of her kin, whatever that unknown race was?

Well, a girl with green skin thought like that - that was ironic in a way. Ayu would always be different from others on Earth, even if she wished to pass as a completely normal person. With everything that was happening in her life lately, it was safe to say that the border of normality was long ago passed and should be forgotten. For good... For better and for worse.

A soft frown appeared on the young woman's face and it wasn't the fault of the sunrays stroking her cheeks. The warmth tickled her skin. With the still posture and quiet breathing, Ayu was blending in the surroundings of her garden - a green mess of a hair mimicked the nearby bushes, and a wild rose leaned towards her, blossoms resting on top of her head. It could have been because her Ki was leaking out, or maybe simply her presence was influencing the flora, but plants near Ayu were moving on their own. Without her guidance or energy, they rocked softly even if the air lacked the faintest breeze, wrapping their leaves and vines around her in a tender embrace. She cared about the green, and with a touching sensation that brought tears to her eyes, she knew that the plants cared back. She felt loved, maybe for the first time in her life... Yet her relationship with vegetation wasn't the only one that improved. But should she say that about people who appeared in her life not so long ago, out of blue?

Zhang was the only family Ayu had. It wasn't a lie. There was this aunt too, but aunt Williams was the type who wandered the Earth aimlessly. She wasn't present in Ayu's life, moving from place to place, calling once a year on her birthday, and rarely showing her face in this tiny house near the East City. She wasn't present... So wasn't Zhang, if she'd look at it with a cool head. Ayu could have pondered about it for months, overthinking every aspect of their relationship, but she still couldn't figure out why he took her in. Why did he even bother in the first place - to look good or it was simply a whim or impulse, regretted afterward? Adoptive granddaughter, so easily cast away while he focused on his work. Zhang Yibai would be doing much better without her around - thought could she be so sure? Ayu was the one looking at the bills and taxes, making sure that the heating worked and they have enough groceries to go by. But deep in her bones, she sensed that there was something more there. He felt different about his granddaughter than he showed like he was acting near her for whatever reason, keeping her away intentionally. Sometimes she wished Zhang would tell her he hates her. That would be easier to bear than this quiet neglect and ignoring her every word...

A single, hot tear was running down the skin of her cheek. It dripped on her hand, but Ayu didn't open her eyes, letting herself be focused on tidying up the mental mess in her mind. This ordeal wasn't comfortable, but felt cleansing, and raised her spirit. Like dealing with an old nostalgia that was doing more harm than good, she was finally able to make peace with her thoughts.

Though she still wasn't able to gather the confidence and talk to her grandfather about it. Pathetic, maybe... She wanted to ask - why he took her in? Why he had care at that point, while it's obvious he doesn't care anymore... Ah, the more she was thinking about it, the more it hurt her head. Their relationship was complicated. She didn't love him. It sounded cruel when she said it in her head, but the love faded away years ago, leaving only the space they shared. She respected Zhang as a person who brought her in and more or less raised her, giving her shelter, clothes, and food. As a kid, Ayu felt admiration for that grumpy old man, seeking his affection as a love-hungry child would do. With the only parental figure in sight, she wanted to be close to him, but that wasn't what Zhang planned... Quickly she learned to try to suppress her feelings near him. Good deeds ended with adoption, the basic requirements were met and that was it - Ayu was mostly on her own. Zhang was married to his work and was rarely leaving the university, overthrowing the stereotype of a grandpa doting on his lovely granddaughter.

She had her plants and routine, but still, Ayu felt so lonely...

But now it was different.

Now she had a younger sibling. Ayu's lips curled softly in a warm, genuine smile. Unaware of her features softening, she was reminiscing her meeting with Liari, a cute, blue-skinned alien creature that pretty quickly was deemed her little sister. They had too much in common to not form a bond, that instantly grew on them both. It was surprising how a little bit of kindness and goodwill bettered both of their lives. With only one meeting! The little one was so affectionate and caring that Ayu couldn't help but feel tears gathering in the corners of her eyes, wondering how badly she missed being able to hold someone. Anyone. To not feel so pathetically alone while other people are politely ignoring her or pointing fingers at her back... A small chuckle escaped her lips when she thought back to Liari's reaction after she admitted, that she didn't have many friends or isn't generally liked. Shy people weren't popular and Ayu wasn't a combative type. Her little sister didn't seem to mind. It was funny how fate pulled them together at that certain moment. Both didn't remember what have happened in their lives before they woke up. Bluebell wasn't awake for long, but Ayu was here for more than eleven years, desperately trying to remember the faces of her parents, to no avail. After a decade she gave up on it. That chapter was closed, but even if it sounded unreasonable, deep down she still missed someone. Only who..?

That was a mystery she suspected, she wouldn't be able to uncover. But that was okay... Growing, learning - and now taking care of somebody - life was better with a purpose. And Bluebell needed help - they both did, actually. Liari presented herself as a cute, emotional individual with a peculiar set of morals. That's it, she didn't have them. Ayu did everything in her power to pour some basics into that blue head and hoped that her little sister would remember them. Her heart hurt at the thought of leaving her alone, so prone to the influence of others... What would happen if she'd meet someone with unclear intentions? She would be like a child lured into a trap with a piece of candy. Ayu rubbed her temple. Not even for a second, does she regret her choice, but the responsibility and worries are going to sweep away sleep from her eyelids. And the way Liari reacted to some of her questions... She needed to check it later, to make sure nothing was hunting this bright little Bluebell. The young woman was grateful for this sense of purpose and for a chance to help someone again. Albeit she wasn't so sure she was capable to do much, she still was determined to be there for her little sister. For the smiley and pretty blue being that took care of her solitary life.

Was adoptive sister that different from adoptive granddaughter? A bond formed by choice and not by blood could prove stronger than anything else. Ayu was going to do everything she could to make sure Liari wouldn't feel the same pain of loneliness as she felt when she put her trust in the person that was supposed to be her guardian. She didn't hate Zhang, but she would be damned if she'd try to act like him.

Still, it wasn't the only little sister she, well, spontaneously adopted, though it was a very different situation. Solidifying her resolve about how she feels about the Bluebell, Ayu's mind slipped into the musing about another person that she was worried about. Cress. A headstrong, little Saiyaness with blue eyes, a wide grin, and a stubborn demeanor. So eager to learn and listen to her tales about herbs... It felt good to see someone who was paying attention to Ayu's words, and everything about this tiny warrior was heartwarming. Cute little girl with enormous potential... She would definitely grow into a fearsome person, with her resolve being steel-like since her childhood. Was it a Saiyan thing? Being so strong-willed? Ayu chuckled softly at that thought, remembering how a six-year-old girl was able to present her character easily in front of adults. And yet... Ayu felt the same protectiveness towards Cress as she felt with Liari, but at the same time - it was different. It didn't diminish her attitude but drew a line in her mind. Cress had her father. She had an older brother, friends, and companions, and she felt the care of family dynamics as clearly as possible. But Ayu and Liari never had a chance for that. They, until this point, never bonded with anyone in the name of being relatives. Maybe... Maybe they truly would only have each other? That's what made Ayu more concerned about this blue girl - because Bluebell didn't have anyone out there in the whole world, while there always be someone on Cress's side. She had the comfort of having a family and father to look out for her. Of course, Ayu wanted to fulfill her role as an older sister to both small girls equally, but at the same time, she wished to make up with her affection all that Liari never experienced. By caring for her she won't buy back all those years of neglect she suffered, but she just knew, that Bluebell was able to heal the burn in her heart.

Was it naive? Maybe... None of them had a father figure like Athren to confide in or ask for help. Ayu's life would be so different if only Zhang was even one-third of a parent as the Saiyan, but that was, again, wishful thinking. A deep sigh raised her chest when the young woman started thinking about that peculiar race. In her short life, she has already met four Saiyans and somehow they didn't fully match the well-known stereotype. Loud, brutal, obnoxious, hungry for fight and power race of warriors that based their values on the power levels... Ayu frowned a little. Cress was simply adorable - never judge the book by the cover! And for example, Athren didn't appear as someone filled with intense arrogance or as a warrior itching for a fight. He was a rather calm and composed father looking out for his child, who was curiously exploring the world. There was patience there and care... Yet, maybe only towards his family and friends? After all, after a single short meeting, she wasn't going to say that she was able to get to know him. Or anyone in that matter. But the way he presented himself while warning her about her energy level made her think that he was the right person to ask for advice in the future. If there be a chance of course - she couldn't sense him at all so if he didn't want to be found - he won't be. That was a useful ability. Still, she couldn't help but think that he wasn't a bad person - and here Ayu was reminded by the sensation of his Ki, of this murky and dark undertone, her memory acted as if it wanted to warn her. At least not completely. His energy reminded her of the sky, the firmament above that was always the same one, yet there was something different there every day. Ayu was distant about the man, but there was a hunch. A feeling that despite her inner shyness and careful nature - maybe she shouldn't be so much on her guard... Should she trust her instincts? Then again, her mind was playing tricks on her and blurring her energy signature, so could she trust herself on this one?

If there was a Saiyan Ayu was able to trust without hesitation, that was Callion. She still remembered the sensation of his Ki - clear, honest, composed like a hyaline. The force within made it evident that, just like the sea, given reason, his energy could fume like a raging ocean. It matched his physique too well... He was so tall and broad, with a mane of black hair that made it look like he was even larger. Looks were deceiving and that made keeping his cool even more impressive. And what's more, he was openly friendly - a sympathetic, sociable person. Maybe a little too much... Ayu still remembered how flushed she was when out of nowhere Callion started complimenting her abilities. What stuck with her, was how curious, but understanding he was. He didn't simply label her technique as growing trees, but the Saiyan showed some knowledge about ecosystems and expressed his concern about throwing the biomes out of their delicate balance with flora that wasn't native in the area. She was too abashed at that time, but Ayu should definitely ask if he has any interest in botany. Even if not, his knowledge was enough to have a great discussion in the future... Ayu felt that he overpraised the idea of bringing back life to deserted planets and saving people, but maybe, with enough training, she could do more? More than now, that's it. But it's not like she could pull grains out of thin air and feed the hungry... And now she was on the express train to get a migraine - she rubbed her temple, mumbling under her nose softly. Thinking too much wasn't good for her mind, but the young woman was eager to organize her thoughts, which were scattered all around her brain. She was eager to meet Callion again, but at the same time, she feared this encounter. She was predicting that it would end up with her embarrassed to her core, standing behind anything big enough to be a hideout... But - he offered his help to train her ability and gladly she wanted to accept his aid.

That was a very tempting offer. The problem with training on her own was simple - Ayu had no clue what she was doing right and what she was doing wrong. Ignoring her physical capabilities, which weren't that great, using her Ki on vegetation was a more complex matter. Push-ups and crunches were something that was learned at school, and Ayu refused to practice fighting with people. She wasn't able to punch anything properly, nor did she want to hit anyone. Maybe that was a mistake, but she felt like learning defense would suit her better rather than studying ways to attack others. It didn't feel right... Yet, to protect herself she'd have to fight, right? But first of all, she needed to concentrate on her Cholorkinesis. That's why finding a critical eye was in order, to point out her mistakes, and unnecessary movements and tell her what works and what won't. Ayu had unplanned practice during her fight with a giant snake she encountered deep in the forest... Things slipped out of her hands, literally. The young woman was creating net after net, creating traps with lianas and vines, trying to restrain the beast... But in the end, she was forced to drug it with herbs and use help from the stranger. After the adrenaline in her blood faded away, Ayu felt guilt growing in her soul. It was because she wasn't able to finish the fight in any other way, using the quiet and sneaky solution that wouldn't be able to work if not for the aid she received.

That's why she needed someone to correct her while she was training, helping her realize her potential and her limits. But as she thought about it, wasn't she putting too much faith in a single training session? Spending an evening with a stranger, growing herbs and trees wouldn't mean that she'd right away gain more insight into her own power. In fact, it sounded somewhat delusional...

Ayu opened her eyes slowly, lazily, her gaze fixed on the blades of grass in front of her. Pale yellow eyes glimmered in the sun. The light exposed the opalescent effect of the irises, showing how the tiniest sparkles reflected and danced within. For a silent moment, Ayu stared at the ground without thinking before she sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of her nose. Sun rose already, showering Earth with warm, golden rays. It heated her face and shoulders pleasantly, giving this morning a lazy feel. The air was carrying the scent of warmed, moist soil and vegetation all around. It mixed with the scent of flowers from Ayu's garden and resin from the forest nearby... It was quiet. The buzzing of bees gathering pollen for sweet honey and the chirps of birds were making this an amazing opportunity for a nap. The young woman could easily lay down on her back on the soft grass, close her eyes and drift away to the world of sleep.

Was it worth it, really..? The training. What was there to gain to train someone like her? What was Callion thinking... It's not like Ayu wanted to accuse him of having a hidden agenda, but she wasn't anyone as strong and as interesting to others so people would sacrifice their time this way willingly. But Athren did say that she was way stronger than other Earthlings, and Jorey mentioned that too. Back then when she was pursued by thugs in the East City, he confirmed that she would have been able to defend herself. She just couldn't feel it, her energy was all wrong, all over the place... And because of that, she wasn't able to believe in her capabilities. Once again, it all circled to her being unable to read the signature of her Ki... Ayu sighed, closing her eyes once more and straightening her back. Today wasn't a good day for meditation it seemed. She tried to polish her mind, like a blade, make it sharp and focus - but instead, it was more like a forest spring, splitting up and branching into dozen of smaller riverbeds. Training meditation was her goal, making her head clear, figuring out the solution to the bothering her questions - in the theory of course. In practice, she wasn't able to hold her thoughts in place and they were jumping from one person to another.

Jorey was right about training, but it seemed Ayu needed to sacrifice way more time to better herself than she even begin to suspect. But that Saiyan... Was certainly the closest to the Saiyan archetype that Ayu heard about. He took life so easily, ready to kill again if it wasn't for the thugs running away in panic. To this day Ayu was grateful for him saving her, escorting her to the university, and all in all, helping her when she was in distress. They didn't match when it comes to morals and beliefs though. Out of every individual from his race that Ayu met, Jorey was the coldest and most calculated one - but not exclusively in a bad way. Yet, the young woman couldn't honestly say that she enjoyed their meeting. She has read from his Ki the coldness and the sharpness, the dim sensation and something else, something she wasn't able to describe... And there was some misunderstanding and confusion on her part, which lead to her being afraid of being in a similar situation like that ever again. To be precise - of being attacked again and seeing spilled blood. Or seeing someone being killed, all because she was too weak or too scared to act... She couldn't shake that feeling, that sense of guilt eating away at her soul. Ayu trembled and put her arms around her when a cold shiver danced on her skin. She hated the sensation of life fading away to the deepest part of her core.

But it wasn't like she never felt it before. Death was a common occurrence in nature, and often even more bloody and gruesome than in the world of Earthlings. Yet... That death wasn't chaotic. One died so the others could live. Ayu was able to sense rabbits' energies fading away in the talons of an eagle, who was going to feed her hungry chicks. After a fierce battle of territory, a wild lynx would succumb to its wounds... A mother bear didn't even blink before throwing herself at a much larger opponent, her motherly instinct ordering her to protect her cubs with her life. That was clear and easy to understand. The order of things was the same after decades and centuries. Each death was a little saddening, but the cycle of nature continued and life thrived anyway in the deep forests. Ayu respected that with every inch of her being. She grew up wandering around those woods, observing animals and plants, and learning firsthand how nature works. Nature wasn't cruel or cold or selfish. There was no goal other than keeping on living. It simply was, neither good nor bad, praising the survival of the fittest and the honorable death so someone else could stay alive. Animals hunted because they had to feed themselves, killing opponents in their defense or acting as their instinct guided them. It was easy to understand and justify. It was only Earthlings who learned to hunt for sport... Or kill for money, or on their whim, because they simply were able to - given time it was proven that other races in the universe were thinking in the same way. It upset Ayu greatly. The strength granted the possibility of surviving, but not to be a judge of others' lifespans. She was doing everything in her power to respect every life and every death, but out there were people who didn't even bother to think about what they were doing...

For example, Ayu didn't blame the giant snake for attacking her. The beast felt threatened by their presence - it either marked them as their prey or was territorial enough to put up a fight to chase away danger from its turf. If it wasn't for Tabu, the situation would be dire. She would never suspect that her first meeting with the alien race she admired for their harmonious life with nature, would happen like that. When she was at school, the information they learned about the species of the universe was rather skimpy. For example, Namekians - green, tall, strong, calm, they like nature and their body can stretch - that was all. She couldn't confirm all of those with a first brief meeting, as mostly they were busy staying alive. Their cooperation, a bit hectic at first, lead to their victory, even if it was a bitter one... If any of them have encountered the serpent on their own, their chances of surviving said meeting would be low. Too low. Fate must have known that, that's why it throw them together into this situation, and luckily, they pushed through and Ayu had a chance to talk with the stranger.

That might have sounded rude, but Tabu was unexpectedly tall. After all, exceeding human standards was easy when he wasn't a human himself. If they were standing next to each other, the tip of Ayu's head was almost reaching his elbow... She was always on the shorter side, but this made her feel even smaller. His voice was gruff and he felt distant, yet deep down she thought that it was intentional. Like, there was a reason for that, but also Tabu was emphasising his behavior while acting this way... Maybe he didn't like other people or maybe she was mistaken? Something about this Namekian was uncommon. Ayu first time in her life felt the energy of his kin, and the sensation she experience was giving her... A hint of nostalgia? She couldn't find the right words, but that Ki resonated within her deep down in her core. Tabu's energy was strong, focused, but at the same time mellow in a soothing way, as if that hue was marking his connection with nature. Or the understanding he felt towards the serpent's actions... First time in her life Ayu met someone with a similar respect for the natural order. Was it a racial thing or it was Tabu's characteristic? She didn't know, but that thought was met with gratitude - because there was someone out there, who understand her point of view.

A lot has happened lately. It was funny how Ayu had more social interactions in the last weeks of her life than during the whole time she spend at high school. She wasn't popular or pugnacious or interesting to talk to. A quiet girl, now a young woman, hiding in the school yard or the library, reading or daydreaming, not exactly able to talk to her peers. And yet now some people appeared in her life for a brief moment, some were willing to stay for a bit longer... Another was gradually adding distance, while a certain someone threw herself at her to lock Ayu in a warm embrace... Funny how it worked. The world took something away and gave her another chance as if compensating for her troubles. Being lonely and having difficulties communicating with others meant that even if she encountered people, Ayu had a hard time talking with them. It felt like there was no right answer or solution to her problems - so why, one by one, she has faced unusual people? Different races, abilities, and goals... None of them were human, so maybe that was a reason? That she simply wasn't fitting well on this planet. Aliens... Their energies were strong and uniform, but they all acted like she was mightier than others around her, treating her as equal or sometimes even as a stronger being... It felt wrong. Ayu was... Just Ayu. How special was she? Despite her age, she still was trembling in a quiet fit of panic each time her vision was obstructed by darkness. She stuttered when she got nervous and talking with people was always a significant reason for her anxiety. Lacking confidence and resolve, she was empathic to a fault, wishing to help people, yet her boundaries were keeping her in place. Wasn't she simply a coward, for not being able to stand for herself after all those years..?

But she was learning. Little by little. Ayu never considered herself a unique individual, but that would be a lie to say she didn't possess abilities a normal human wasn't able to have.

Out of everything, her greatest concern was her ability to heal her own body. Scratches and bruises were fading away from her skin in a matter of seconds. Bigger cuts slowly, but surely, would close and regenerate, not leaving the faintest scar behind. Ayu was never sick - she never caught a cold or got food poisoning, and a twisted ankle healed in one hour. What would people say..? Would they find it gross, gruesome that the dark line on her body was fading as if an eraser scrubbed away the scratch on her skin? Or would they be fascinated? She didn't know and was afraid to find out. With all the talk about how the Earth is home to Earthlings, not other races, Ayu wasn't eager to give others yet one more reason to shun her. No one ever openly threatened her because of her skin or appearance in general, but there was an air of distrust. Whispers. Eyes in her back and pointing fingers... After all, she wasn't a human, so she wasn't welcomed on the blue planet. If Ayu only knew where her home planet was or where she could find someone knowing what race she is, things would be better. She just knew it. She was getting tired of an unending line of unanswered questions.

But what race in the universe has such a connection with nature, to the point of controlling and influencing flora? Ayu opened her eyes to see her garden bursting with life... The rose growing near her softly, delicately wrapped vines around her arm, not once prickling her with the thorns. Dandelions bloomed around her, while she sat on the grass surrounded by soft blossoms mimicking the sun. It gave her a great sense of comfort to know and feel, that nature cared back - in the simplest way. All her life she was able to feel the plants, not only their energy - but their feelings. She sensed their moods, needs, their pains, and anticipation of the changes in season or weather. For Ayu, it was something normal, like breathing - how surprised she was at the age of eight that her classmates didn't know what she was talking about. That's when first she was labeled as strange, but she didn't mind. Flora was honest, unlike children and adults who were quick to lie and act selfishly. Having contact with nature was enough... Even if deep down Ayu was feeling lonely. Softly stroking green leaves and colorful petals, feeling how they move and wave under her touch, she smiled. There was nothing in this world she would have exchanged this ability for - nature was all she had in her childhood, what would she have done without it?

Yet, it wasn't the only thing unusual or weird... What human could breathe underwater? It's not like they had a swimming pool at a rural school, but Ayu once fell into the forest pond. If it wasn't for that ability, she might have drowned back there, disappearing from home for good and no one would know what happened. From an early age, she had tendencies of wandering around the woods, and once she lost her footing... It could have been a disaster, but instead, it was a valuable lesson about herself. What else she could do? Well... Even if her energy was blurry, Ayu could focus, shaping it into a solid form, creating a bubble all around her. Pretty convenient when she was attacked by crows who thought that she stole chicks from their nest. Ayu simply felt that their life force was growing weaker and took them out to treat them - parents didn't approve. She was attacked relentlessly, deemed an opponent preying on the weak. How she made that shield to protect herself from all that pecking and scratching, she still wasn't sure, but it worked. When chicks returned and crows checked that everything was alright with their offspring, she could finally put the barrier away. That scared her too... In a similar way, Ayu learned that she unconsciously gives off a bit of her energy when she's feeling threatened. Mostly whenever she was on the run. An afterimage was made in the air, allowing her to dodge an angry boar. And that was it - it wasn't something a regular, normal person would be able to do, right..?

She never told anyone what she was able to do. In dread of being shunned even more or feared or hated... People fear what they don't understand, but what Ayu could have said? She didn't have the slightest clue why she had those abilities, how should she feel? Being so lost and alone with this secret was weighing on her confidence. Zhang didn't know... Because what would he do? He didn't even care enough to ask about her day, there was no chance that Ayu would open up to tell him about something so personal. Two people learned of her ability to influence plants and one was aware that she could sense Ki. That was a reason of mild concern to the young woman. Liari loved the magic trick with growing trees and everything connected to it, but she, like a child, could easily pass this information to others... Callion didn't seem like this type. He saw her practicing and focused more on the exercises aspect, trying to help her with future training. And Athren was aware that she was able to read signatures, but he wasn't concerned - anyone would be hardly worried if they could suppress their energy, disappearing from anyone's radar like they were never there.

Saiyan's words rang in Ayu's head again... She could be in danger if her energy would continue to shine brightly like that, attracting all kinds of creatures. It seemed that being able to sense Ki was entirely on another level, so the young woman was troubled by this revelation. Ayu was able to feel the energy around her since she remember... That's why learning that it was something important surprised her. What followed was the ability to calm down, suppress, mask or hide one's Ki - that was something still out of her grasp. She wasn't as skilled despite many attempts, let alone she couldn't assess herself - there was no chance to take another step without mastering the basics. With his goodwill and a warning, Athren added more to her anxiety, because it didn't matter how strongly and patiently Ayu was trying - her energy never budged. Like a stone wall, stubbornly poking out in the sea of pebbles... Rubbing her temples, she gave a little sigh. Was there something she was doing wrong? Or there was a way she never heard of, that would be most effective? Maybe all her attempts were fruitless for obvious reasons, but she simply wasn't aware..? Ayu meditated a lot, calming down her mind and soul, trying to quiet down her energy slowly, peacefully, piece by piece. It never worked. She couldn't hide what was in her, be it her emotions or the amount of Ki... That was a little ironic. Her feelings were always on her sleeve, and now her energy acted the same way? Oh, how discouraging...

By reading the energy one was able to tell a lot about the individual in question - Ayu knew it well. She used that ability too, checking the mood and character of people she talked with or was forced to meet. The hue of their personality, the emotions within, and even the race, age, and intentions were swirling around in Ki in chaos or sometimes in a specific order. The more experience she got or the clearer the sensation was, the more she could gain from it. So what does it mean that she can't seem to properly feel herself? It was only her problem, others didn't have any trouble with sensing her Ki. A significant pillar of her energy was hidden from her, and for whatever reason, her body reacted with pain each time she tried to find a way to finally, once and for all, feel her energy. That couldn't be good... The wall in her mind was still strong and unshakeable. Who put it there? Who would benefit from Ayu's incapacity to sense her own presence?

Enough with worries. When she woke up this morning, Ayu was determined to try again. She couldn't allow herself to be distracted now, after all that warming up and thinking back to people that inspired her to work harder took place for a reason. The young woman wanted to motivate herself, so she could face the problem without worries... Yet, the more she was being adamant about the whole ordeal, the more Ayu felt her stomach twisting into an ice-cold knot. Doubts started to creep in, softly, effortlessly, making her hands shake. She was getting ready, and sweat formed on her temples, breathing got deeper and slower. The anticipation was putting pressure on her so much, like it wasn't an attempt to reading one's energy, but saving the world. It took her another moment to calm down her breathing and the heartbeat that anxiously started to flutter like a bird in a cage. Ayu stroked her forehead, wiping the sweat. She didn't even begin, but she was tired already. Another sensation of foreboding put her senses on high alert. Why was she getting so uneasy?

Let's try again... From the very beginning. Breath in and out, while her mind danced between the trees. The forest was beautiful, bursting with life and sounds. Ayu didn't have to keep her eyes open to see the cascade of colors - in the darkness each dot of Ki was shining like a sparkle. Trees, vines, and bushes weren't as sharp or as vivid. Their energy was faint, like a soft glow in the shape of a plant's organism, in a beautiful shade of silver-plated green. Bugs felt like stars, the tiniest dots of energy flying around, catching her mind's eye with their multicolored hue and simple presence. The bigger animal, the more complex was energy... Herbivores were often pulsing pastel-colored signatures, skittish, easy to flee, constantly watching out, their emotions easy to spot. Once at her school, doing a group project, her classmates compared Ayu to doe - shy, avoiding others, ready to run away when things get too hard for her. It wasn't a pleasant parallel, but there was some truth in it. She wasn't like predators. Their energies were steady, tensed like arrow's string, ready to fire and attack, sharp, prepared, and intensely colorful. Earthlings and other races were even more vibrant in this darkness... Was it how her energy shone through her body? She didn't know. Ayu slowly expanded the area of her observation, but with every breath, the circle around her grew smaller. Her mind slipped through the plains, the woods, nearby rivers and ponds, getting closer to her garden and home, and finally...

Slowly she shifted her focus inside her body. Only on that. Her harmonious heartbeat, the position of the bones, and the tension of her muscles. The beating of her heart, although tranquil and even, was underlined with anxiety... And the more she thought about it, she could feel how it hastened inside her chest. Sweat was now running down Ayu's face, dripping on the ground. This whole procedure of getting into a meditation state and reaching towards her core's Ki wasn't easy nor was it pleasant. It was thoroughly exhausting. A shiver run through her back, muscles twitched a little and her posture changed. No, no, if things would continue like that, she's going to panic. Let's take it slow. Right. Energy in her was always there, that was the undeniable law of the universe. Diffused in every living cell of her body to create and present the whole amount of her Ki, her being, her self. The life force was something that every creature was soaked through, Ayu wasn't an exception. It was in her blood, breath, and mind. She focused on the outline of her body, which was like a natural shell, a vessel for life-giving Ki. Everything inside, the thing that made her work was something that she desperately tried to understand. It shouldn't be so hard... Tracing her breaths, she wanted to feel the circulation of energy, the same cycle that works with blood or oxygen in her body. The deeper she went, the more she felt uneasy. With every breath and heartbeat, Ayu was pushing it a little, forcing the unnatural border back - and as an answer to that, something was forcing her away. Blocking from reaching the Ki inside her body. As if she was covered in the armor around the very center of her being, of her core, she had to break through. Her head was now so heavy and tears gathered in her eyes...

The sense of awkwardness and uneasiness was so strong in this discomfort that it started to cause her pain.

What would anyone gain from making her this way? What was the reason? Ayu was so tired of this, having been fed up with the fact, that all this time - she knew nothing. She's here but can't feel a thing, she's strong but she's weak, the sensation changes, blurry, fuzzy, and uneven. It's like she was desperately trying to get to the other side of the mirror. It wasn't natural, but then again, so was her memory loss... Perhaps, after the incident years ago, her life force was blocked in this manner? There were dozens of suspicions and theories, but she wasn't sure. And that was what hurt the most. What sensation does her energy carry within? How strong was it? What impression does it make, and what kind of race in this wide universe does it match? She needed to know, so her mind would be finally at peace, so why... Why?

... Or maybe, deep down, she didn't want to do this. She didn't want to know. Was... Was Ayu scared of looking deeper, afraid of what she'll find hiding within her Ki?

As soon as this reflection surfaced in her mind, a sharp, burning pain left her gasping for air. Ayu's eyes snapped open just in time to see how the ground is rushing towards her - the sudden wave of weakness knocked her down on the grass. A muffled wail of suffering was heard when Ayu was holding onto her head, pressing against her temples so strongly, as if she was scared that it was going to split open if she'd let go. Her stomach was close to turning upside down. There was no point to count tears and moans of pain and fear... She curled into a trembling ball, terrified to her core that the worst attack that she underwent was created by her head. The pain was unbearable. Even the slightest thought hurt like burning iron poking inside her brain... And why? Because she thought that it all, every trouble she went through with her Ki, was her sole fault..? That's why..?

"S-st-stop..." Ayu whispered to herself, eyes wet from tears and voice shaking from fear. Curled on the ground, trembling and wheezing, she was begging herself to end this horrible play of menacing pains and twisted feelings of guilt... She didn't know how she started that, she didn't know either how to stop it. All she knew was that she tried to uncover the mystery of her inability to read her own Ki - and now she was twisting on the grass in pain, sobbing loudly and trying to calm down her raging heart. Thousand of emotions flashed through her head at once, giving her a severe headache. Was it a panic attack so strong it physically hurt, or something more sinister at work? "P-please..." The pounding and pulsing were driving her crazy. Blades were cutting her head from the inside out and she was convinced she was going to die. Right here and then. Ayu nails dug into the ground... The taste of blood was already on her tongue. Her body was spasming so much that it was hard to move. And for the first time in her life, cornered by pain, she instinctively fought back.

"STOP!"

Everything around her blew up with green. Literally - in a five-foot radius from Ayu every species of flora was now pulsing with her energy, growing uncontrollably. Blades of grass grew into a lavish lawn, anything that could bloom was now covered with flowers so wide and beautiful that it felt unnatural. Sprouting seeds in clay pots, the one Ayu took care of so tenderly, turned into flowers and vegetables so suddenly they have break through the ceramic surface, spilling soil everywhere. Fruit patches and vegetable gardens were overflowing with matured goods ready to be picked. The rose growing on the old toolshed covered the little building in its vines so thickly, that it was impossible to guess what was under a blanket of green leaves and thorns. Any stray seed or weed that shouldn't be there, was now a fully grown plant... It looked like Ayu neglected her duties in her garden for over half a year. The trees surrouning the fence from the other side were now overgrown, with their roots breaking through the ground and destroying the wooden painted white boards. Ayu's energy soaked into the ground, feeding the vegetation and making them grow to the unnatural - defying the laws of the universe - sizes.

It got even quieter.

Once the Ki that was causing her pain was gone, the hurting in her body disappeared like it was never there. She could feel it seeping out of her body, taking all the discomfort and tension away... Breathing heavily, with great difficulty, Ayu laid on her back, gazing at the sky. Suddenly her mind was calm, like the air after a storm. She welcomed this blank state. She was exhausted to the point when her chest moving while breathing seemed like a difficult exercise. It took her a long moment to calm down enough to realize she was looking at the limitless blue firmament - and that she was still alive. In her garden, near her home. Closing her eyes she sighed. Relief washed over her. She was close to bursting into tears again, this time out of this unspoken solace of finding out that she was still in the world of the living. But she was weak... So weak, in fact, that sitting up proved to be a whole ordeal, taking her a minute before she could rest on her shaking arms. That's when she finally realized in what state her garden was.

"D-did I..." Ayu stuttered, looking around, but closed her mouth with a sense of guilt. There was no point asking. Who else would be able to do something like that? Lifting the weight of her body from the grass, the young woman staggered abruptly, resting her back on the rose-covered wall of her toolshed to avoid another meeting with the ground. Not even a single thorn prickled her skin when she did it. Running her fingers through her messed-up hair, Ayu saw that she was still trembling. Typical. It didn't matter how strong her power was, she still was a weakling and a coward. Maybe there were things she shouldn't try ever again... On feeble legs she walked through the garden, assessing the damage she has done and the time she'd have to spend to make it look presentable again.

She entered the building through the back, walking slowly to the kitchen and opening the door to the bathroom. A cold, tiny room welcomed her with the sight of the mirror hanging above the sink.

"You look awful," Ayu chuckled sadly at the dreadful reflection that looked at her from the glass. Her face was pale, giving her a sickly even more greenish hue. Puffy eyes with clear traces of tears didn't cover the confusion and pain lingering in her yellow irises. The stain of blood under her nose and on her lips betrayed that she suffered from another nosebleed and didn't even realize it. Messy hair, half undone braid, smears of dirt and soil on her temple and cheek... It's like she had a fight to the death with her garden and the garden won. Looking down at the muddy fingers, Ayu sighed again and turned on the water, reaching for the soap. It was the right moment to wash and call it a day... It didn't work out and probably never would. Despite all the worries that her energy might have attracted attention, Ayu had no clue what to do now. She tried and where did it lead her? Scrubbing her hands, the young woman sniffled, quickly wiping tears that appeared in the corner of her eyes. Ayu didn't want to give up so easily, but what else she was supposed to do when her own body and Ki were telling her to drop her goal? Maybe she was broken or her energy didn't work properly... Maybe there was another reason, but she wasn't aware of that. She was sick of not knowing anything, roaming around aimlessly like a defenseless child in a thick fog. Wiping her face with a towel, Ayu stroked her temple and glanced at her reflection in the mirror... She looked way better now, but the dark circles under her eyes won't go unless she'd get rid of the exhaustion that was sinking into her bones. No garden work today... She badly needed a nap.

Ayu walked through the kitchen at the right moment to see the phone's screen lit up and a name appeared on it. Zhang. The ringtone played a catchy beat while Ayu's body tensed and she felt another shiver, creating cold unpleasant goosebumps on her skin. Why now? Her grandfather was the last person she wanted to talk to... Even if she'd break down crying into the phone, he wouldn't even care, would he..? And other people- Wait. Ayu held her breath when she thought about it.

It's not like other people cared either. It was a very quiet but grim moment of realization. Ayu's expression darkened with gloom when her legs weakened once again and she leaned on the wall for support. Her back slipped down on the smooth surface and she sat on the ground, embracing her knees and hiding her face in this nook. The ringtone was still singing, not minding her silence. How selfish of her. In a moment of distress, Ayu was here alone and she was ought to figure out everything on her own. No one would come anyway. That's how it always was, so why now did she think that things would be any different? Because she talked with few people? How arrogant of her to think that she should impose herself on others and seek their... Maybe not help, but presence. Life wasn't about that, she knew it well, yet she couldn't shake this bitterness off. Why does it have to be Zhang? Why couldn't it be Bluebell, her little sister that promised to visit her often? Or Callion or Athren checking how things were going... So stupid. They didn't owe her anything. Their energy signatures were scattered all around Earth, doing their business, fighting, and getting stronger, taking care of what was important. It would be naive to think that after one meeting she could expect something of anyone... Stupid Ayu. She just fell so lonely that her brain was making her delusional.

"See what happens when you imagine things? You get s-sad," she proclaimed quietly with a voice that tried to sound humorous but was undeniably hurt. She felt so stupid... She'll be okay with time. She'd manage like always. Deep down Ayu felt bad for thinking that she could burden someone with what she was going through and felt justified in that. It just wasn't right. Liari had enough on her plate, the others had their missions and things to take care of. Now she couldn't help but be bothered by guilt. Ayu was only Ayu, nothing more, so she should get used to that already... Yet, something inside her was growing sadder and hurt.

Two things didn't change as the sun was setting behind the horizon. The fact that Ayu still didn't know what she should do with herself... And the stubborn, upbeat sound of the ringtone, still going off in the kitchen.

---

Power Level - 32,085
Word Count - 10,008
Super Weighted Clothing Equipped